Yesterday we heard that another organization would not be able to extend invitations to us, which was one of the things that was giving us hope and making us want to hop on a plane and leave in a week. So we discussed that we may have no choice but to do a Student Visa at this point, and this was really getting us down yesterday.
Yesterday, when we heard this news, I was keeping myself busy working on completing a project I've been working on for a while, which is bounding all of our graduate work from Fuller into books, so we will be able to use them as resources in an organized way.
So, I came to a place where I wanted to quit, but then decided to bind one more class: Old Testament - Writings. So, I began to look through my work, and came upon this poem I wrote as part of my final paper of that class:
I am Job. I am good, so I ask God, "Why do I have to suffer?" But then God says, "There are much bigger things in this world than you, Job."
So, I am thankful for a God who reminds me how small I am.
I am Esther. I want to save the world but am not sure I am strong enough or that God is big enough to do it. But then I see God working in "small ways" through ordinary circumstances to save the world.
So, I am thankful for a God who works behind the scenes and reminds me I am not saving the world, he is.
I am Naomi. I was alone and thought God had forgotten me. But, then God blessed me over and over again.
So, I am thankful for a God who blesses me especially when it seems hopeless.
I am Ruth. I moved to a foreign land where no one knew me, but I knew I had to go. Then God showered me with many blessings.
So, I am thankful for a God who teaches me that faith means not waiting to see His reward, but acting first.
I am a Psalmist. I cry out to God, "Why have you forsaken me?" But, then He is faithful, and I sing a song of thanksgiving as a testimony of the great things He has done in my life.
So, I am thankful for a God who lets me take the initiative with him in my lament and for a God who acts on my behalf.
I am Qoheleth. I attack traditional wisdom that says God's ways are knowable. I cannot find evidence for justice. But, then God reminds me that I, with human wisdom, cannot undersatnd all of who He is.
So, I am thankful for a God that does not let us know everything about him and reminds us that we don't have it all figured out.
I hope this touches you today as it did us yesterday.